the eng-less people

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Before starting this scribble let me inform you that not many days ago, we the Bengali’s celebrated our Mother Tongue Day. This very occasion brought certain questions to my mind, that how much of a Bengali are we? 

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I ask the same question to you as well! Also that, I am writing it like a free flowing speech, so please excuse the regular grammatical errors! (There are many….LOL)
You might ask, why this? Well there have been some thoughts that were doing the rounds in my brain, so I decided to share them with Ya!

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Everyone enjoys watching a film or two! Provides a certain amount of recreation and certainly opens the windows of our brain to the influx of some creative thoughts and ideas.

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But, it has changed you know! In the modern day —-

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Smart people are those who watch English films (dubbed in Hindi) and say: “Bro, (didn’t understand a thing) it was so complex, great storyline man!”
Smart people are those who watch critically acclaimed local movies and say: “Chatushkone—what??? Absolute crap man!!!   See Nolan dude!”

Same is the case for music!!! Yes! You heard me right! MUSIC!

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People tend to hate whatever is local, I don’t know why!
“Why are you listening to country music bruv? Are you from the 60’s? Listen to this awesome track from Eminem!”
I mean, I love Eminem but, why are people making these attempts to make themselves a pseudo-global citizen?? I have no idea!
This kind of an attitude is prevalent everywhere, let me give some more examples!

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Can anyone speak three languages in a single sentence? Hell yeah they can!
“Ei shonna, I am nahh feeling very tired, mera homework kardona please!”
Why humiliate all three languages? Why?
Kabiguru Rabindranath Tagore, while in England had come across a friend once, he appeared to be very British like, and to his behaviour, Kabiguru famously said-
“English ta to shikli e na, Bangla ta o vule geli?”  (If that isn’t swag! I don’t know what is)

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The new generation of parents get paranoid about the admission of their child to some decent school. Well they have every right to be, come on! The population ain’t decreasing! So isn’t the competition in these spheres. A little bit of tension is justifiable, but some people go bollocks!
The desire is to have the letters “ST.” before the name of their school, or they can’t make a social “ST”atement .. I mean what is this?? Are you sending your kids to a fashion parade, to show off their milk bottles? Huh?

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As kids and teens and to be adults, we love to play, be it football, cricket or anything else!
Don’t we? Guys?
But sports are also kind of being imposed now!
“My daughter takes swimming classes!”
“My son goes to cricket coaching!
I feel that these words really suck the joy out of them!
These kids do everything,
They swim, dance, act, play and even top their classes, I don’t know if they love anything that they do!
I am afraid that our society is churning out zombies who are, “Jack of all and Master of none!”

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In 2016,
If someone is good in Bengali and relatively poor in English, people say
“Bangla die ki hobe ahh? Shara bishhyo English e cholche!”(#China_Germany_France_Spain_Russia #LOL)
On the other hand, if case is opposite people say
“Bangalir chele Bangla janena!!HUH!!”
Whatever someone might do, they are bound to get criticised! That’s our society for you!
Enough said,
Let me confess something,
I am really poor in my 2nd Language and not a day goes by, that I don’t regret about it!
Yes, I do get very poor marks in Bengali too!
Still, I love my mother-tongue and try to appreciate the immencely rich literature of it has to offer!
I really hope to have a good grasp over Bengali literature someday, That remains a distant dream!
Nobody has ever succeeded by ignoring their tongue, and no one ever will!
I have utmost respect for your views and beliefs please don’t get me wrong here. It’s just that there are certain things that I like and that I don’t!
-THE CYNICAL GOBBLEDYGOOKER.

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thank you for reading!

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“are you game?”

There he was, again!

It appeared different to him that day. A blinding beam of light hit him as he opened the door. As the scene came into focus he noticed, a Megaphone!

“Which game are we playing today Master Roy?” it bellowed.

“I’m not in the mood for games, Mindy!”

“That’s the perfect mood for playing games, sir.”

The entire scene started to whirl and twirl and he felt as if someone was twisting his entire body by the ends.

A railway track appeared (toy sized mind you); a tortoise on roller skates was skating along the track, carrying a sign which read, “U’s ahead” in a giant roman italic font.

Clueless, he started to tread the unknown path.

The brick wall transfigured into a long hallway.

Small rooms, rather cubicles were dotted along the hallway path along with a swinging bulb suspended by a thin and long string.

On turning the knob of the first door, the bulb fell to the ground and broke into a thousand splinters, and a section of the hallway broke off. He must visit the remaining twelve rooms, so as to get a clue in order to escape.

The First Room housed an urchin. He appeared to be in a great haste, all the stuff lay scattered around and it felt like as if he wants to buy all the stakes at a major company. Clearly, he was smeared in the paint trying to scribble some very important letters in the wall. He looked at the older guy, gave him a nasty look and redirected him to the other room!

The Second Room had a screaming and angry kid. He had a cricket bat in his hand and was absolutely busy perfecting his cover drives, he couldn’t help but admire that little kid’s perfection!

Sweet melodies were flowing from somewhere not very distant. Not bothering the sportsman, he left for the Third!

The Third Room seemed like it belonged to the happiest person in the universe, the room was bright, loud music was playing and the teenage kid was busy with his cellular phone, blushing from time to time.

“Not here mister! Can’t you see I’m beseeeee !” the young guy told while moving from side to side.

It was getting monotonous for him right then, room after room!

“Where am I stuck?” he said to himself.

Just then, he realised the hallway was normal again, the bulb was back!

So, confusing!

The Rooms were gone!

In turn, they were replaced by some sort of a common room, a very luxurious one.

Two large sofas were placed at the centre along with a recliner.

A total of nine people were sitting there!

Roy became more perplexed.

He approached the gathering and asked

“ I don’t seem to remember getting here in the first place, would y’all please lead me to the exit?”

All of them guffawed till they fell short of breath.

“You wanna get out eh? No one ever gets out!” said a blind old man who got up and started pacing up and down the room.

A middle-aged man reached his arm out and spoke,” you have to be here sir, why don’t we be friends?”

Just then he received a text, it read

“150 is the limit you brainless oaf!

-DURNBAR”

His face became pale as he read it and refused to shake hands with the man.

Other guys didn’t reply, all of them were middle aged and very suave, busy in their works!

Feeling helpless, he buried his face in his hands and tried to shed a tear or too!

Having cried, he raised his head.

Ah!

The Megaphone was back.

The Tortoise was dead.

“What’s all this Mindy?” he asked

“You ask yourself, Master Roy! You come here every day to find the meaning of your life and fail miserably. You just saw what you wanted to see, the perfect representation of the stages of your life, or at least as you had wanted it to be. But, you are so disillusioned now, you cannot even recognise your original self….

Memory is not like a hard drive, it’s like a puzzle, but, the pieces might change from time to time,

Our mind is like a dipole, if you apply too much potential, it just splits! Your trip always darkens your mind, but you repeatedly come here over and over again,

The past comes here to console the future, the future to console the past… the journey or the time taken to come here is the present!

You need not travel great lengths or do great deeds to find the meaning of your life, home is where we can gather grace.”

As the last words were echoing through the room, Roy saw the Megaphone transform into a door.

He turned the door knob and a bulb lay shattered somewhere, then he closed the door behind and walked past the big neon sign which reads “WELCOME TO YOUR MIND” and opened his eyes to

Darkness.

Catatouille

“There he is!!!!”
Without a moment of hesitation, he geared up all his energy and started running after him.
The man who is being chased of course is a weird looking creep with an eye patch ( thankfully he left the parrot at his home) and had two ‘intact’ legs. #swag
Screaming, “YO HO HO!” he sipped his rum and started running like one legged dog! B)
They scampered through the ghetto, molesting every object that lay in front.
All it needed was a fat black lady saying, “Thoooomassss!!!” and it’d have made a perfect tom and jerry episode!
Parkouring through the rooftops, they came to the main road where strangely enough their mates werejack-sparrow-pirates-of-the-caribbean2 waiting in black tanks…
Exchanging pleasantries? Might be!
And now starts the NFS!
It’s customary, that in every chase a vegetable vendor must be completely destroyed, so they did!
Every single etiquette was taken cared off!
Our hero takes charge of the turret and blasts the entire civilisation in front of him, tearing through concrete like cardboard they went, still maintaining the one hand distance that they initially had!
Time for the climax of the climax!
Suddenly, they are led into an open space and its time for ….
“FOREPLAY!”
They get down from the car and stare at each other for no reason, and the villain speaks in the worst Arabic accent ever!
What does he tell?
There is only thing to tell,
“ Aiiii hevvvv the Rushhian nuuclear launcch codess…. if you whant it, chum and ghet it!”
The hero steps up mouthing the words, “I ain’t here to play doctor! Am I?”
And they engage in an exhilarating battle of dandiya with metal rods, for they have no guns right?

“What a crappy film!” He said, and closed the VLC Media Player!