KYA MOCAMBO KHUSH HUA?

“While in the merry month of September from me home I started,
Left the girls of Tuam so sad and broken hearted,
Saluted father dear, kissed me darling mother,
Drank a pint of beer, me grief and tears to smother,
Then off to reap the corn, leave where I was born,
Cut a stout black thorn to banish ghosts and goblins;
Bought a pair of brogues rattling o’er the bogs
And fright’ning all the dogs on the rocky road to MOCAMBO.”

-SAID THE DRIVER OF DILSHAN HEMNANI after being ousted from the “so called” posh diner on Park Street. The poor chauffeur was “supposedly” shabbily dressed as marked by the officials of the personal biscuit makers of Queen Elizabeth.

This man was denied entry to this restaurant because of his dress and inability to speak English.

Really?

These are the people who watch nothing but Set Max on Sooryavansham (you read that right) at night while having Rajma Chawal and behave like Colin Firth in Kingsman the next morning.

They must take some kind some kind of pills (remember Matrix?) in between to undergo such a drastic change in such a short period of time.

BLIMEY!

Even if the dress makes a tiny bit of sense, the fact that inability of speaking English is actually taken into consideration is just mind-blowing!

I feel like barging into that place, hold a knife at some guy’s throat and ask about the difference between “your” and “you’re”!

How can this be a thing in a third world country like ours!

Look at Germany, Russia, China… they use their own language and just look at their development!!

Then there’s us who await the premier of “Mem Bou” in Star Jalsha.

No wonder they wanted “Dugna Lagan”!

For the sake of the conspiracy theorists, let’s consider the stuff on social media to be true!

The Restaurant Page has allegedly stated that the people who use the vernaculars are either uneducated or belongs from a backward society….

I won’t say much about this but this is why Suarez bites people and Ranjit Mullick calls Koel for the much dreaded “belt”!

Rabindranath had once met an old friend when he was in England, he was blabbing in English all the time, after he finished Rabindranath calmly said

“Alas! You didn’t learn English properly and forgot Bengali as well”

Apply cold water on that burnt area bro; they don’t call him Kabiguru for nothin’!

This is exactly the case of our present day society; we have become oblivious to our moral code and mother tongue but have adopted an alien culture in a rather obscure manner.

Enough said, gimme a break already!

Excuse me please while I gently put on my Oxford’s, button my Louis Vitton, and leave for our very own KAKU’R CHA r DOKAN…

P.S-They only serve Earl Grey!

I hope that you’re hale and hearty and consumin’ no ale.

Thus far and no further, more when we meet at Starbucks!

Whoooops….

Till then,

(removes the bowler hat)

Cheerio Mate!

-THE CYNICAL GOBBLEDEGOOKER

(Lyrics used at the start is that of-

Dubliners – Rocky Road To Dublin Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Image Courtesy-Google)

 

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HIS STORY

KOSHA MANGSHO

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Dokandar is in a hurry to close his shop a little early this evening.

Why not?

His wife has made his favourite kosha mangsho for dinner.

You can’t help a man falling for that,can you? *wink*

There he pulls his shutter and it comes down with the traditional “grrrrr….”.

He zips to his bicycle in a flash whilst blabbering excuses to the visibly disappointed customers.

He strokes the paddle and takes off for home sweet home.

Amidst the twirly roads with its quirky turns, dokandar babu humms his favourite tune and sometimes rubs his capon lined vintage pot belly.

pure bliss!eh?

CHOTU EKTI PRAN

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Chotu is sleeping in the only charpoy that his Kottababu gave him.He twists and turns as the room suffocates his senses. There is only one window in the room from where the sunlight gains entry and ends its errand just before the foot of the bed. In spite of being deprived of air and light, Chotu manages to stay and work for his Kottababu .That night it got a little extra hot at some point in time and Chotu woke up with a start to realise that his room was on fire!

Bewildered at his present predicament he found himself at the storehouse of death, he couldn’t call out for help as the door was also conveniently jammed! Rest aside phones, not a single pigeon could be seen nearby!

He screamed

and screamed

and screamed

and screamed

and did it again!

Alas! It was all in vain when he stopped screaming, Mother Nature understood that the fire has engulfed him!

Somewhere, a leaf fell on the floor.

BHIVISHIKA

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Many people were huddled up in one corner,discussing something, apparently very important and serious. All I could hear was some humdrum, nothing significant caught my ear, maybe because I was still rubbing the sleep from my eyes. As I got nearer, the “what’s and how’s” reached my ear and suddenly someone exclaimed,

“Hey, Dokandar’s here!”

Hearing my name I cycled faster to the spot and saw a little body wrapped in a dirty piece of cloth, suddenly everyone went mum, I couldn’t understand why, as I slowly removed the cloth my eyes swelled with tears.

The tiffin carrier which had some left over Kosha Mangsho fell with a clink on the road…

“Why did I leave Chotu alone that night?”

Is a question that still haunts me in my dreams.

 

based on a true incident