Ah yes, hello there… the name took you by surprise now did it not? But do not worry it is not as important as you would think. Or, is it though?
Welcome to Empirical Tours and Travels. Our tour guides like to mark important words in red so if you have not been paying attention to the red words please do so right now. The writing cannot be more on the wall. Trust me, it is important and it will come back again. I know. I used to live here. Years and years ago.
Lets see what journey Fate has in store for you this time.
Welcome you all and thanks for coming along in this fascinating yet weird journey with me. I do not know why you signed up but I am sure as hell glad that you did. This is where we start the journey… right at the heart of an oriental fantasy! No… no… this is not a theme park… it exists alright but I would not tell you where and how it exists. Why should I tell you? Is it my responsibility? I am a tour guide. Let me be! I am not your tour guide okay? Come along. Come along. We are getting late…
Look around the room and take in all the marvelous beauty but please limit yourself. Do not take more than you can handle. Believe me I know. If you do that today years down the line you will never hear the end of it.
Now that you have finally made some effort to come outside the initial welcome gates; I present you… more gates… AHAHAHAHAH! Did you really think I would make things simple for you huh? Hell no. Now, choose where do you want to enter and what do you want to do with it? Remember, whatever you choose it is irreversible I cannot do anything with it later on no matter how much you cry about it okay?
The illusion of choice my friend is a dangerous thing in life. You think you have a choice but more often than not you have nothing. Don’t mind me. Choose away.
Wow! You really did take a long time to choose huh? You finally did it so congratulations… I guess. Before you proceed to experience whatever on earth this is… I would like you to meet the royal guards of this trip who are going to take care of you. These highly committed men are filled to the brim with excellent manners and great skills of protection. You will never ever feel threatened because you are here to be saved and please never ever forget that. Even if you do, we will constantly keep reminding you.
But, why are you in such a hurry? Where do you wanna go? Where do you have to be? Chill out mate. Get it? Chill out? Chilled Beer? No… okay. But please allow me to be hospitable to you guests, please. I know you are in a hurry to leave but we would like to give you our full treatment. Our hospitality is world class you see! We offer you our best in-class chilled beer. Please feast on it. Do not refuse. It is important that you stay drunk throughout this trip. Do not worry, it won’t harm your choice.
Ah well well well… looks like the decision you made back wasn’t very unique at all. You thought you were very smart but you ain’t tho! I am sorry but you have to travel like that. Suffer for you choices! What else can I say it really encapsulates the mood of this place. Well… I am just a tour guide… meh. I do not want to compartmentalize people I do not think I can resist the temptation here.
What? You already want to go back? Why would you give so much effort, pay so much money only to go back and look at… what… monuments? Are you absolutely sure? Okay.. its your money after all. If you want to stay in the past so be it!
But if we are to go back now how do we do that? Wait… let me go and ask that gentleman.
It seems, my friends, as I was told ” the empire was no longer here!”. He pointed to a place far far away and told me to go there and visit the empire if at all I wanted to. I do not think it even exists now to be honest. If that is not a tragedy, I do not know what is. Wait… I think I should search a little more. How can I give up on something I hold so dear? Fuck you trip man!
Oh my God! The cracks are really really starting to appear now. There is a very good reason perhaps why the empire is not here anymore…run for your lives! Or maybe not, that was years ago. What do we do now? Where are we supposed to go now? What are we supposed to do now?
Oh wait, you found something you want to see? You saved me. I am not a failed tour guide anymore.
But hang on… what is there… to see?
Are you sure you wanted to come all way for this? There is nothing here! Maybe that is why you wanted to come, because of the nothingness! So, was that the journey all about for you? To end with a whimper in the void?